Have you ever fallen in love so deep with someone that you want to be with them so badly, but a social construct negates your feelings? Alright, here is the catch; imagine bringing your date to the family dinner so that your family could get to meet her.
“So, what do you do?” your dad asks the beautiful lady. She answers impeccably but chips in that she is a single mom. Right there and then, the atmosphere in the room changes.
Most likely, your mom will ask for help in the kitchen, signaling that she needs some help from you. Incoherent chatters begin to emanate from different parts of the house.
Now, a barrage of questions falls on you all through the night, and you are confused about what to do next. Well, you are not the only one who has been in such a situation before, and this article will teach you how to handle dating single mums without much controversy.
It can be one of the hardest things to explain to anyone that you are in love with a single mom, especially conservative parents or friends. This is because you will always face questions like; how will you manage and take care of her child or children? Among others.
These social barriers can make it difficult to successfully date a single mom, especially if you are younger than the lady.
There is too much external pressure to make you feel what you are doing might not last. You hear things like she is lonely and just needs some companion for a short time, or she needs someone to look after her children, etc.
Those kinds of talks can throw off balance in the relationship drastically. However, it tends to get better if you come prepared. This article will explore some sensitive issues on how to date a single mom. So, you can finally get ready to be with the woman you love, even if she already has children.
How To Date a Single Mom
Is It Okay to Date a Single Mom?
The world has evolved so much over the past few years so that there is a significant shift in people’s perception of things today.
Nowadays, you can easily wear what you want, talk how you want, and do what you want as long as you are comfortable and do not hurt anyone.
Here is the answer to this question, love is a relative subject. Everyone has different determinants of what constitutes love.
However, if there is genuine and unbridled love between you and the single mom, why should it be a problem?
There are a lot of single moms that have found their perfect match. We see celebrities that have been single moms for years and then finally get to date someone, only to realize that person is their true love.
Therefore, if you are willing to throw away your desired life for some social constructs, then maybe it was not love in the first place.
There is a popular notion that makes single moms look like they are not dateable simply because of the child in the picture. But how about if you can maintain a beautiful relationship with the child or children and their mom?
This does not mean that dating a single mom is an easy task. There is a lot more to put in when dating a single mom than dating other people. However, love has to be the defining factor that should make things work between you two.
Tips/Advice For Dating a Single Mother
1. Be Understanding
As we have established, it can be different with single moms than with other women. But the first thing you need to do is give her understanding. This means that for the relationship to be successful, you have to understand that the mother’s priority is her kids.
One of the issues people that date single moms often face is that they constantly want to compete for attention and love with the children. You can never win this tussle. So, the best thing to do is accept that she loves you too, but her first duty is to her children.
2. Let Her Train Her Child
try as much as possible not to discipline her children. You cannot intrude or interfere with the way she trains her child. Although you can make subtle suggestions, do not impose your feelings on how to raise her child.
So, be observant, wait for her to ask for your opinion, and be subtle with your remarks when she needs them.
3. Maintain a Safe Distance
Let the drama between her and her ex stay between them.
If the child’s father is still in the picture, chances are there would be some rift between you two. It is understandable; you are the one that has the girl now. You have a target in your back.
However, the father can be in a good place with your girlfriend, and you cannot stop him from having a relationship with his child.
Therefore, steer clear of any drama. Support your girlfriend but do not reach out to the ex behind her back for anything. Doing this can lead to the end of the relationship.
4. Support Her
Last but not least is to be a pillar of support to your girlfriend. It takes an immense amount of work to be a mother, provide for the child, and still be your girlfriend. Now, if you are dating a single mom, you need to shoulder responsibilities too.
Be prepared to babysit, support emotionally and financially, no matter how buoyant your girlfriend is. Many people see an attractive single mom, but the thought of being responsible for another person’s children scares them.
Therefore, for you to date a single mom, you need to be mentally prepared to be involved in her life, and you should know that her child or children are huge parts of that.
Dating a single mom is not for the faint-hearted; you need to give yourself to the relationship purposefully.
No one asks you to become a stepfather, but understand that the mother’s priority is first to the child.
Support her in all that she does, especially if the child’s father is not in the picture. Finally, you need to pace yourself and maintain a safe distance away from the ex and your girlfriend regarding co-parenting.